Monday, November 23, 2009


Is it wrong to WANT to be thankful for something that I do not have yet? I graduated from HS in 1996. I spent 2 years at a JC in my hometown. I then transferred to TWU, my alma mater. It took me until 2004 to graduate. Not because I couldn't "hack it" at a "real" school, simply because I had NO idea what I wanted to do. So I changed my major. Again, and again, and again. (Repeat 2 more times.) Finally, I graduated with a BA in English. Which is great and all, but no one really cares about a BA in English, unless they need a paper written. In which case, I'm in great demand.

I worked for a couple of years after I graduated as a waitress. By choice, because we were traveling. I don't regret it. I finally got a "real" job. Which, to be honest, I hated. Turns out that the only job I could get in DFW was in a call center. NOT my thing.

In Tulsa, I can't even get that. So I applied to the alternative certification teacher program. After I changed my major to English, everyone asked me if I wanted to teach. The answer? No, emphatically, no, every time. If I wanted to teach, I would have majored in education. So I got approved to the program, and here we are. The first of several tests (Oklahoma is not as desperate for teachers as TX was) is in January, and I'm not even sure that I'm that interested in taking the test.

I want a job. That much I know is true. I love my daughter. And I want another child. I like making dinner. But to be honest, I would give up making dinner to have a job. Mostly at this point because I don't know anyone here. But also because I'm not sure that "stay at home mom" is the job that is meant for me.

Someone mentioned nursing to me the other day. And I was intrigued. *Small* grades, not so great....I might be able to get into an LVN program. Maybe. And then move on to an RN program. But still, I'm not sure......

So. Is it wrong to pray and pray and pray and hope for God to FINALLY let me know what I am called to do???? And be thankful for it before it even happens???? (And will all of you, all 7 of you who read this, please pray that I can hear it when He lets me know????)

By the way, I AM thankful for the things that I have, such as a beautiful daughter, a wonderful husband, an amazing family, and terrific friends. I'm just struggling with this particular issue....


  1. being thankful for what you don't yet have takes big amazing faith.....

    and don't worry. i may know what i want to do when I grow up, but I'm still not doing.

  2. Girl, you are not alone, and I will definitely be praying for you. I have decided that I am DONE DONE DONE with the whole stay at home mom routine, and am headed back to school. The big thing standing in my way is my math ability is WEAK. Like, I had been engaged to this math genius and if he hadn't done all my homework, the 40's I made on all my tests would have had me flunk out of that pre-algebra class in a heartbeat. So the thought of the math part of the GRE to get into grad school is freaking me out. What if I can't get in? What will that look like? I'm no dummy...I'm just lost when it comes to numbers. Once we get moved I'm going to start studying and just take it one step at a time.

    And that's all I would suggest for you as well; don't get overwhelmed...just take it one step at a time...

    You might talk to Jordan's girlfriend Callie...she's in nursing school and could probably give you lots of good info. Love ya Kat...can't wait to see you for Christmas!!

  3. I AM SO BAD AT MATH. my sis in law has a degree in education, focusing on math. she helps me a lot with the math stuff. i'll keep you in my prayers as well. haven't talked to chad yet about nursing school, its just kind of an idea i'm chewing on at the moment.

  4. Kat you are so amazing! I have no idea wha your calling is, but I know that I am greatful you are my friend.

    God doesn't always tell us what we want to hear... Believe me I know (Houston)... But I know that he will put you where he wants you, in order to do his work. Just think about how much this time is going to mean to Hailey later! She is being raised by a mommy that is really there! That is not something I had going up. So trust me when I tell you that even if you are not a fan right now- It is worth it for her future!!!

  5. Just received a check for $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much you can make by taking paid surveys online...

    So I took a video of myself getting paid over $500 for participating in paid surveys.