Friday, September 4, 2009

good news bad news

I finally have something to report on our lives, rather than just my spiritual journey. Seven weeks ago, I sent in an application (and a boatload of other paperwork) to try to get certified to teach through alternative means, rather than attending a university. Because I have a degree in English, some states are desperate enough for teachers that they will allow someone with a bachelor's to skip the coursework required through an education program and simply take the tests to be certified to teach. I started this process in Texas (although I only applied), and of course got no further once we moved.

The paperwork for Oklahoma was more involved (you can apply online in TX), indicating less need (to me), so I had some trepidations about applying, particularly since we have had our shortage of good news in the last few months. Yesterday I tried repeatedly to call the number listed on my paperwork in the hopes of finding out something, anything. I was informed to allow up to six weeks, and I had worked out that it had been seven, so I braced myself for a "no" and called. I was unable to get through, and decided to get online and research some post baccalaureate coursework to get myself certified the old fashioned way. OU (I know, ick) Tulsa had what looked like the right program, so I printed the application and filled it out, hoping that my negativity would pay off when I made the call to the state department of ed again today.

Now, I know that the answer was already there, and that regardless of what I filled out, God had chosen a path for me. Sometimes it helps ease my mind to be superstitious, even though I know who is REALLY in control here. So today I called, and my negativity (okay, prayer) paid off. I have been admitted to the program!!! I will still have to complete some coursework, but not until after I have passed the tests (thereby saving on tuition if I do not pass), and I will be able to begin teaching once the coursework is completed. They also allow up to 3 years to complete the work, also allowing a break on the old wallet.

This was a huge relief, and I immediately began calling people to let them know before I posted my good news on facebook (some people deserve to hear it in person, after all). However, my excitement and relief were short lived, because while Chad was on his lunch break at 3, he called (as he does everyday) with bad news. His uncle Rodney, who has stepped in to oversee things while the trust is settled, sat him down today and advised him that it looks like the family will have no choice but to sell the restaurant once all the financials are straightened out. This means that in all likelihood he will have no job once they sell the place, and that even if he does, it will not be one that will support us without blowing through our savings.

Now, I will admit, I spent a large part of this afternoon angry-at myself and Chad for deciding to move up here, at his late uncle for suggesting it, at God for not just letting me have MY good news and my day. I cried, I complained to my mom and dad, I posted a kind of grumpy update on facebook, and I cooked a ton of food (fortunately, it is freezeable). Even at this hour, I don't feel at peace with things, but I do feel better. My mom is in Alabama for a visit, but she has offered to come up and visit after she gets home. She suggested that I call my dad and have him come get Hailey and I and take us out to AL, but I think that perhaps Chad will want/need us here on his three day weekend. When I suggested that we would not be able to afford for me to take the tests I just found out I need to take, she said she would pay for them (although some sort of financial aid might be possible).

After all this, I still don't understand why I couldn't have my one day of excitement over a piece of good news, but I'm going to stop trying to figure that out and instead concentrate on prayerfully considering what is going to happen next for our family. I know that God wants us to be happy, and I am grateful that He has provided us with a roof over our heads, food to eat, and a beautiful, intelligent daughter. Perhaps this was His way of reminding me again that this life is not mine to control, and that it is His will, not mine, to be done. Please keep our family in your prayers as we go through this time of transition.

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