Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A job. Again

I interviewed last week for a job through a temp agency. The job is officially titled "Sales support rep," which DOES NOT mean I will be selling anything, merely helping the salesmen. The company is Fabricut, which is a locally owned company with showrooms all over the country. I am trying hard to be enthusiastic, but the truth is, the last job experience I had sort of knocked me down. I'm not sorry that I got fired, but I do feel a little less worthy now. Or skilled, or something. Add to that the fact that this is an hourly job, and I'm even more down in the dumps. Somehow, in all those years of college, I pictured myself graduating and getting some great salaried position doing something somewhere (which really is the problem, I never saw myself DOING anything particular).

And I'm a little bit angry about the week that I lost with my daughter for a job that went literally nowhere. Even though it's just a week. And about the money spent on daycare. And about the fact that she was just getting comfortable being left at the daycare when she had to come back home with Mommy. (I know, I'm contradicting myself here.) In a nutshell, I was really content before I took that ill-fated job. And I was even content after I took it (well, until crazy lady made an appearance). Now, I'm nervous and sick to my stomach, and hoping that I'll somehow fail the drug test (fat chance).

I know that there is a good chance that this will turn out to be a great job. After all, the two women I interviewed with loved me, and the company seems to be a really good, really solid company (the employees pay $2 every Wed to wear jeans, and the money is donated to whatever charity they're supporting that quarter, how cool is that??). So I'm praying for peace, and to not be fearful based on one bad experience (literally, of all the jobs I've ever had, ONE bad experience). Also, to find a good day care for Hailey, b/c the one we were using filled her slot. *sigh*

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