On passing things...

Okay, my last post was about studying. For a pretty important test. Pretty sure those who follow my blog know this already, since I'm facebook friends with all 9 of you, but I PASSED MY TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!! Both of them, even the subject area test that I was unsure of. SO excited. Called the state, and the next step is the Teacher Competency Review Panel and fingerprinting. Basically, background check, and something else that I'm not sure what it is. Or whether I have to wait to start hunting for jobs. Hopefully my packet will come in the mail and I'll have a better explanation...at any rate, YEA ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On studying...

I suck at studying. A lot. It's part of the reason that it took me 7.5 years to graduate with a four year degree (also because I had five different majors, some for several semesters before changing, but that's a topic for another day). I don't like it when I don't just "know" things. I know, stupid, right? No one just knows stuff without learning it, but it's the things that I'm bad at that make me nuts. Like math. Which my sister in law will tell you (and she's probably right, she was a math teacher and has a degree in the nasty stuff) I am not that bad at. Unfortunately, I have a MAJOR mental block against it. Therefore...you know the rest.

So back to the title of this little tale. Tomorrow I'm taking a test. A pretty important one. Maybe life changing. No, I'm not taking a pregnancy test, it's a teacher certification test for the state of Oklahoma. Before we moved to Tulsa, I talked a lot about getting certified to teach. In Texas. Where they make it relatively easy to get an alternative certification. I didn't think I wanted to teach, and it seemed like (and still does) everyone I knew that taught had it in their blood. Like their moms were teachers, or dads, or everyone they knew, or whatever. Now, my grandfather taught at Texas A & M (GIG EM, AGS!), but he's the only teacher in my family. Period. So I didn't want to.

Now I'm in another job that I'm not sure about, making less money than I'd like to (I know, teaching doesn't pay a lot, but still), and so about three months ago I decided to go for it. The test wasn't that expensive (I should say tests, there are two), and I figured, what the heck, if I hate teaching, then I'll just stop doing it. No biggie, right? Then I started thinking about every job I've ever had and how I always ended up being a trainer. Sometimes before I felt like I really knew what I was doing. And that's teaching, even if part of the reason I did it was for trainers' pay. And I didn't always mind it (now, on a busy Friday night in a restaurant I hated it, but pretty much any other time it was ok).

So everyday for three months I've studied during my lunch break. I feel about as prepared as I can be. I'm going to study some more tonight after my parents get here to watch Hailey, and tomorrow morning at 7:15 (ouch), I'll be signing in at East Central High school in Tulsa. I guess at this point, please say a prayer, wish me luck, whatever it is that you do...And don't be offended if you're a good friend and you didn't know, I didn't tell many people.

fill in the blanks

I'm back. At least for the moment. I can't guarantee that this will be entertaining, or that I'll post again anytime soon, but for this moment, I'm back.

Our lives have been really busy lately, Chad is back in school, which is very exciting, but means that I am taking on a *little* more than I was doing before. Mostly, I'm taking Hailey to day care every day instead of just Mondays and Fridays. His classes are online, so his work schedule has not changed, but he spends a lot more time in front of the computer on the days he is home. We are really proud of him for doing so much and doing so well.

Hailey's thinking about potty training, which is REALLY cool. She likes to use the potty a lot, but we're not quite dedicated enough to really commit to it yet. Soon. I hope. We didn't tell her Sunday school teacher that she was potty training at all, and she ended up messing up the ONE diaper we took in. Oops. Her tantrums are fewer and farther between, although we had a couple of doozies last night. Tonight she and I walked down to the pool, and she jumped off the side at least ten times, and didn't even throw a fit when it was time to leave! It's the little things....

I'm still working, my job is good, although I'm still praying for guidance. Kind of thinking about teaching, although I'm not sure about it. Teacher friends, if you have any advice where this decision is concerned, I'll gladly take it!! I'm working on myself a little too. Trying to give up the green eyed monster, which is tough. I'm really not a big "coveter," but I do compare myself to others a lot. "She's skinnier, she has a better car, has a house, a second kid, and so on..." The problem with my brand of jealousy is that I forget to be thankful for the things that I have. Like a beautiful, smart little girl. And a pretty terrific husband. A loving family. A roof over my head, and food in my belly. A JOB, even if I don't think it's the one that I want. That said, I just don't think that attitude is healthy. So if I can stop grumbling about what I don't have, trust that GOd will give me the things that I want when HE wants me to have them, and just be thankful for all those things (and more), I think I'll be happier.

Ok, I got a little bit deeper than I meant to. Next time I'm going to try to be a little less "fill in the blanks since my last post 3 months ago" and a little more entertaining.

Til next time...

nothin...

i haven't been here in a while. okay, that isn't entirely true. i've checked in on my friends' blogs, just haven't posted on mine. with a new job, Hailey in day care, and desperately trying to get to the gym, i haven't had much time. immediately after starting this job, i had to go out of town two weekends in a row, and so this past weekend was my first chance at real rest time. with a two year old, so the actual rest was negligible.

i feel like i want to write something deep and profound, but the truth is, i just don't have it in me. i still don't catch the news very often, so i can't give my views on that, and truthfully, in addition to not getting to the gym, i haven't gotten to church much either. (although we did make it this past sunday.)

so i don't have much to say. i forgot how tough it is to work and be a mommy. especially when daddy works a schedule that doesn't allow him to be here for bathtime and bedtime. maybe next time i'll feel more inspired. in the meantime, thanks to my friends who are keeping ME entertained, even while i provide no entertainment myself.

The number 2

Hailey is 26 months. Which makes her 2 years and 2 months. Since she was about 18 months, she has been "practicing" for two. And it's here now. And my beautiful, smart, funny little girl occasionally turns into someone I don't recognize. And don't like. Worse than that, when she turns into that child that I don't know or like, I turn into this yelling, screaming, wreck of a mommy because I can't figure out what it is that she needs/wants (or sometimes just what will shut her up). Don't get me wrong, I still love her when she's being nasty mean Hailey, but it makes for some very rough days.

We recently got rid of her pacifier, which was relatively easy to do. Unfortunately, what we also gave up was naptime. Seems that without a "chachu," she simply can't soothe herself to sleep. Darn it. Probably that will come back when she goes back to daycare next week, but maybe not. Equally frustrating was the return of poop art. Yesterday I washed her sheets twice. And gave her three baths. Her sheets were washed night before last b/c of another poop incident. That's right, 3 times in 24 hours I washed her sheets. Sigh.

As a result, yesterday I decided that it was time for her to graduate to a toddler bed. So I turned her crib into a day bed (with no bed rail), which only resulted in me contemplating the possibility of turning it back into a crib in the wee small hours. I decided it might be more traumatic to change it back, but I also got NO sleep. And remember that part about no naps? Even though we played outside for an hour, went to the library, Target, and Babies R Us, still no nap today. I couldn't even get her to lay down for a solid hour in my bed with me.

Suddenly, going back to work doesn't look so unappealing. For eight hours a day, someone else gets to fight my strongwilled child, and I get to hang out with grown ups.

Gotta go, bad Hailey is back, and she just pinched the heck out of the dog....ARGH.

A job. Again

I interviewed last week for a job through a temp agency. The job is officially titled "Sales support rep," which DOES NOT mean I will be selling anything, merely helping the salesmen. The company is Fabricut, which is a locally owned company with showrooms all over the country. I am trying hard to be enthusiastic, but the truth is, the last job experience I had sort of knocked me down. I'm not sorry that I got fired, but I do feel a little less worthy now. Or skilled, or something. Add to that the fact that this is an hourly job, and I'm even more down in the dumps. Somehow, in all those years of college, I pictured myself graduating and getting some great salaried position doing something somewhere (which really is the problem, I never saw myself DOING anything particular).

And I'm a little bit angry about the week that I lost with my daughter for a job that went literally nowhere. Even though it's just a week. And about the money spent on daycare. And about the fact that she was just getting comfortable being left at the daycare when she had to come back home with Mommy. (I know, I'm contradicting myself here.) In a nutshell, I was really content before I took that ill-fated job. And I was even content after I took it (well, until crazy lady made an appearance). Now, I'm nervous and sick to my stomach, and hoping that I'll somehow fail the drug test (fat chance).

I know that there is a good chance that this will turn out to be a great job. After all, the two women I interviewed with loved me, and the company seems to be a really good, really solid company (the employees pay $2 every Wed to wear jeans, and the money is donated to whatever charity they're supporting that quarter, how cool is that??). So I'm praying for peace, and to not be fearful based on one bad experience (literally, of all the jobs I've ever had, ONE bad experience). Also, to find a good day care for Hailey, b/c the one we were using filled her slot. *sigh*

Back at home

I had an interesting experience this week. I got fired. For the first time ever. From a job that I held for exactly one week. This was a job working as a receptionist/administrative assistant in a doctor's office, as I mentioned in my previous post. And it wasn't what I wanted to be when I grew up. I know now that I definitely did not want to be that in this particular doctor's office. The truth is, when I left work on Wednesday, I wasn't feeling great about the job. When I left work on Thursday, I was feeling even worse. And when I was driving in on Friday, I actually told my mom that I had a feeling I was about to be fired. Sure enough, 30 minutes later, I was driving home in tears.

That said, the tears didn't last long. And I'm not sure what the tears were really about, beyond that I'm a crybaby and will cry at pretty much anything. The doctor's wife was the office manager, and without going into too much detail, she was not a very nice person. She came across that way initially (or I would not have taken/been so excited about the job), but by Thursday I had come to realize that she was a poor teacher (important when you are training someone in a new job), extremely impatient, and had very high expectations. Almost unrealistic expectations. Apparently I required "too much babysitting" for her.

Fortunately for me, I have a wonderful daughter who I get to stay home with again, at least until I find something else, and a terrific husband who was very understanding about the whole situation. (Perhaps because he didn't want to deal with a sobbing mess for a wife at every waking moment, but maybe not.)

So for now, I'm going to be thankful that God got me out of that office that would have tortured me for as long as I allowed it, and pray that a better opportunity comes along.